Pandemic 2.0

By Ivie Li

If coronavirus seems like the most contagious and threatening disease, then Senioritis is fatal. As the fourth marking period approaches, sniffles of tardiness and coughs of missing assignments are spreading throughout the class of 2022. Nurses have classified this disease as “Code Red” in NHP, and the main office has been handing out late passes more than ever in efforts to minimize the damage. Some have even gotten so sick from the symptoms of Senioritis that they have had to stay home.

“I thought that if these masks protected us from COVID-19, then we were definitely not going to catch Senioritis, but I was wrong,” said senior Billy Joe.

The disease has plagued many classrooms, and teachers are growing worried that it will only become worse as the weather gets warmer and brighter.

“Senioritis has been in my classroom since September. I’ve noticed more procrastination with submitting work and more requests for bathroom passes,” said English teacher John Ferrara.

“This disease must thrive in the summer, because once the weather hits sixty degrees, I lose half my class!” said physics teacher Albert Einstein.

Source by Lauren DiGregorio

Seniors take a lil' nap in AP Psych.

One of the main causes of this disease is college. Prior to and during the strenuous process of college applications, seniors were noted to be very academically focused and diligent. However, once applications were submitted, symptoms of Senioritis began surfacing in seniors. Hoodies, sweatpants, and slides took over their wardrobe and school desks turned into napping stations.

“What’s the point anymore? I’m already in college, I can just relax until the end of the year,” said senior Lazy Lucy, who is unfortunately in the deep stage of Senioritis.

“I don’t recognize my seniors anymore. Every time I ask for help with homework, they gag at the sight of it!” said junior Petunia Marie.

The one and only cure to this dreadful disease is graduation. Once a diploma hits the hands of the seniors, the illness expels itself from their bodies, and the graduates break free from their depressed states. For now, the remaining survivors have been taking extra precautions against this disease.

“Anytime my peers mention summer break or even the thought of skipping class, I throw on three extra masks and spray Lysol around the room. My GPA is on the line here!” said senior Thomas Tryhard.

Currently, the rate of infection is increasing exponentially. Hopefully, the class of 2022 will make it to the end of the year.