Pancakes @ 8

By Tina Torre

Most students dread the arrival of April because it eventually leads to May, which leads to AP exams, which leads to finals, and later leads to the Regents. However, students in grades nine through twelve at New Hyde Park are now so excited for April that they forgot about these exams.

On Wednesday, April 27 and Thursday, April 28, the seventh and eighth graders are taking some math quiz or something, but more importantly, there is a two-hour delay for upperclassmen.

Because of the delay, most students did not see the point of wasting time at school at all. Even teachers began calling the attendance office to reserve vacay days (with the exception of the science department, who has no experience being absent).

Administrators began to fear that New Hyde Park’s district rating would go down if no one showed up, and Sewanhaka would actually have something to hold against us. The principals, specifically, were most concerned that New Hyde Park would lose its title as a “School of Excellence.”

The faculty’s brightest minds banded together and decided to throw an extravagant pancake breakfast on the days of the delay, as an incentive for people to attend.

Source by terrible (the WORST ONE) EIC

Students are seen enjoying a delectable pancake breakfast with an assortment of toppings including but not limited to strawberries, blueberries and butter.

They are anticipating to have upwards of twenty flavors of pancakes, four colors of potatoes for the hash browns, and a make-your-own omelet station. There will also be iced tea imported from England, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.

The breakfast sausage and bacon will be freshly carved during the event. Dr. Faccio will be roasting the 150lb pig over a charcoal fire in the special ed hallway.

His name is Porky.

Rumor has it, the tables full of breakfast food are going to take up too much space, so the junior high exam will take place in the weight room.

Upperclassmen have anonymously shared their reactions to receiving this news.

“I mean it’s nice and all that they are making free food but absolutely no way am I staying for the school day. I’m literally making a plate and then climbing out a cafeteria window.”

“Right idea, but they should’ve done more food.”

“I’m happy we are getting breakfast while junior high takes tests. Finally the school is showing who the real superiors are in this building.”

“ i wAnt sEe piG.”

The upperclassmen are thrilled, but a credible source has shared that junior high is getting some FOMO. Apparently junior high is planning to revolt or something.