By Shady Sheed
“Teaching Calculus was just...not it. I absolutely cannot stand these kids. It’s like I try to get them to stay awake during class but they all turn their cameras off and don’t get the math done. They do however, won’t stop talking about TikTok so I decided maybe I could show THEM who the cool one is,” said math chairperson turned TikTok star Mr. Marsh.
You heard it here, Mr. Marsh has been keeping his true identity under wraps for quite some time! After several failed attempts at garnering the attention of his students, while wallowing in his sadness, he created a TikTok account in which he chronicled the hard work he did as the math department chairperson. While it may have temporarily lifted his mood, once his students stumbled upon his account, they relentlessly bullied him.
Source by Pythagoras himself...he's doesn't get the hype either.
Pictured here: Mr. Marsh in his final form as Charli D'Amelio.
The situation became even worse when Mr. Marsh encouraged his students to watch him make a TikTok. One student alleges that he even made them record these terrible TikToks for him. His students wouldn’t stop laughing and poking fun at him until he burst into tears and initiated a stop drop and roll procedure. The only fire he could’ve tried to escape is the hot garbage fire of a mess his account is.
“I told them they would regret treating me like this! I wouldn’t hesitate going supernatural routes to demand some respect from those pesky kids!” said Marsh.
And supernatural routes he took. After doing his daily job of not grading the integrals test his Calc BC students took in January got too overwhelming, he whispered some incoherent words and somehow as the clock struck midnight, his fairy godmother misheard the words for “Charli D’Amelio.” In a perfect storm of good timing and pure magic, Aaron Marsh transformed into Charli! Guess his fairy godmother thought this would begin to help him out.
“Did he think becoming Charli would make us actually be able to stand him? Is he any more competent as a 16 year old than he already was? Maybe that's why he makes us watch videos of other people instead of actually teaching us. I don’t know, I just feel like he’s trying way too hard,” said Polly Gone.
Coming into school sporting his own Charli Cold Foam from Dunkin', his attempts at impressing his kids were fruitless. We all are so unimpressed. He wasn’t funny then and still isn’t funny now.
“Who’s gonna tell him Charli is lowkey irrelevant now? This does not help his case at all. 5/10 still kinda meh,” concluded Adam Up.
Currently, Mr. Marsh is still getting bullied but his students feel bad because he’s in the body of a 16 year old girl. The students however, are excited with their teacher’s newly acquired riches.
“I guess the best thing to come out of this is that he’s rich now. Maybe he can pay for my college tuition,” said Dee Nominator.