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Breaking News! Lance Caught Using Photoshop?

By Yearbook Hostage

The Chariot had just received empirical proof that the Lance’s senior photo editors, Alvin Paul and Areej Zaidi, had committed the worst felony any publication could ever get charged for. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, they were caught PHOTOSHOPPING images to be placed in the yearbook. The Chariot is in awe of their audacity to commit such blasphemous acts.

Source by Rachel Jacob

Senior editors Areej Zaidi and Alvin Paul caught mischievously editing on Photoshop.

For editors who supposedly “value integrity and authenticity”, they were awfully dishonest and foolish about their work. It’s a surprise that their fellow yearbook editors did not find out sooner. 

“I thought it was weird how Alvin is always in a mask,” yearbook designer Serina John said. “Turns out he was hiding something after all.”

“Honestly, with Alvin’s loud keyboard it makes sense what he was typing in the corner," yearbook photographer Joyce Cordero said.

“I’m not surprised they used Photoshop. This is why the copy team is better,” yearbook copy editor Janvi Acharya said.

After spending a century searching through Alvin Paul’s notoriously slow computer, numerous Photoshop edits ready to be placed into the 2024 yearbook were found. Not only were the edits spreading obviously false information such as NHP’s football team making it to the Superbowl (I mean, seriously–who’d believe that?), but they also were outstandingly bad.

Source by the culprits themselves

The Temu ahh Photoshop edits found on Alvin Paul’s computer.

Given the Chariot’s reputation of being a hard-working and diligent site who would never dare step foot into Photoshop, many of the staff were furious and demanded revenge.

“The yearbook needs to take some lessons from the Chariot,” Chariot news editor Darsh Mirchandani said. “We have a hardworking staff who makes sure that our publication has great, original and authentic art.”

“Of course Yearbook used Photoshop for their work! The Chariot would never do that,” Chariot staff writer Carmela Drossman-Schlossberg said. “We have better everything, including our name. Why is the Yearbook named after a weapon anyway??”

The question now arises of what to do with the Lance’s senior photo editors. Should they be punished for their wrongdoings? Should the upcoming Class of 2024 laugh at the horrendous edits? Or perhaps should the clearly superior Chariot replace Lance as NHP’s yearbook club?


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